ALPHEBETICAL POEM

Absent from my life,
Baby you hadn’t even formed a single bone.
Can’t believe I made the choice,
Defined as “you permanently being gone.”

Everyday mommy thinks about you,
Forgiving me is hard.
Given you the world if I could,
Healing your every scar.

I was young, and dumb,
Just fooling around like a kid.
Kind of wish now I had your face,
Lips on mine giving you a kiss.

Mommy is sorry,
Never wish I walked in that clinic.
Over the bed I laid,
Processing you being diminished

Quiet days and restless nights,
Reminiscing on you in my tummy.
So many negative feelings,
“To be or not to be” your mommy.

U would never believe,
Venting out my feelings to the air.
Wonder if you even hear me up there,
Xspecially not knowing if you even care.

Y did I do this to you?,
Zooming through your little mind.
Answer is regret is something,
Body doesn’t heal over time.

-Chanel